Its All About Perspective...

Perspective - a view or a way of seeing things based on experience and personality.

Lately, I've been spending alot of time thinking about how my perspective of my current living situation affects my ability to continue aforementioned living situation.  My situation being that I am living in a small, aluminum camper with no plumbing, at the back of my sister-in-law's property, while waiting for the contractor to finish his part of renovating the ancient family farmhouse.  I know; it sounds so blissful when I put it that way. Actually, I've realized that how I choose to look at the situation means that it can be blissful - or not.

It all depends on me. Me and my perspective.  (Sounds like a song title doesn't it?)

Since moving here to start the renovation, I've had days that made me feel as if I had somehow taken my mind out of my head and left it somewhere along the trip from Texas to Kansas. I'm talking 'stark-raving mad' type of days. Not that I ever let on to anyone that all I wanted to do some days was sit in a corner, headphones in, slugging on a bottle of vodka, and talking to myself in between heaving sobs.  Saying something like that out loud would have certainly had me labeled as 'needing medication' and I'm not playing that game anymore.  Been there, done that. Just because my contractor neglected to add the room for the hvac system in his bid which is now going to cost us an extra $6000 we hadn't planned on, doesn't mean that I need to start twitching and shouting obscenities to random strangers. I'm pretty sure that would get me arrested anyway. And just because the man my mother-in-law married detests the sight of me (for reasons unknown to me) and thinks our house should have been burned down, I'm not going to yell at the kid bagging my groceries or the meter maid downtown as she's writing my fifth parking ticket this month.  I'm not going to yell at crying babies just because my truck got hit TWICE in one month. It wouldn't help to do any of those things. Crying, yelling, drinking (excessively in one sitting), cursing, ranting, being in a generally foul mood...never makes the bad days better.

What makes the bad days, or moments, tolerable is the way I choose to look at things.  The fact that I choose to not let those little things bother me so much that I can't find a way to enjoy the moments that bring me happiness.

Moments like sitting in the stands at a local community fair listening to string music, watching children dance along, listening to my friends laughing, watching the sunset all the while knowing that people have been coming to this fair for over a hundred years, mostly just to see each other and stay connected. 

Like seeing a buck come out of the trees south of our house and knowing that he feels safe there. 

And sitting on the deck at our friend's house, after a fantastic meal, watching the full moon come up on the horizon and everyone got quiet, because sometimes there's just nothing to say when nature makes an entrance into your world.

Feeling exhilarated at standing outside during a thunderstorm that cracks so loud you feel it in your gut and you know you should run inside but you want to experience it as long as you can.

Finally, under a full moon and perfect temperatures, seeing Neil Young live in concert and knowing you're there to support local farmers. 

Its not just the big moments I see through rose-colored glasses. There are thousands of little moments every day that cause me to stop and give out a breath of gratitude to the universe for bringing me to this place, at this time, with these people.

I'm grateful that I have the sense to realize how fortunate I am. How a few miserable people can't, and won't, cause me to quit or leave. Grateful for the sense to realize that its all in how I look at things...

Its all about perspective. If you could see the view from my front porch, you'd understand.